


Unreachable

by altraes



Category: Naruto
Genre: Akatsuki - Freeform, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, Hurt, Love, M/M, Short Chapters, Smut, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-03 07:30:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 9,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11527491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/altraes/pseuds/altraes
Summary: "When night comes, dragging its long face,dressed in mourning,Be with me,My tormentor, my love, be near me."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.  
> Poem in the summary is a portion of "Be Near Me" by Faiz Ahmed Faiz.

It's not possible for someone so young, a boy no older than seventeen, to have those eyes.

Itachi's sharingan are the first ones Kisame's seen, but he can tell without even pondering on it that his are different, exceptional. They look like they have seen everything, and yet they hold nothing.

Kisame knows, his partner either has virtually no emotions at all, or an iron clad control over them.

He's not willing to believe in both.

And he's not willing to take orders from someone younger than himself, he never has had to, so it irks him a lot: this skinny boy, with eyelashes too long to look masculine, hands too slim and elegant to hold weapons, and a voice too gentle to suit a killer, telling him to do things.

The youngest member of the Akatsuki...

"It is imperative that you learn our ways," Pein had told Kisame, "so make sure you follow Itachi's guidance."

Kisame snorts.

"You are not the leader of this organization," Kisame tells his partner with a grin, the flames of the burning rubble beside them casting wayward shadows across his face, "I don't see why I have to take orders from you," he draws Samehada and keeps it on the shaking shoulder of a victim he's got cornered against the wall, "no matter how good they say you are, and despite the fact that you have those eyes..." he turns to look at the Uchiha.

A pair of sharingan glows red from the darkness unblinkingly. Kisame smirks.

"The fact remains that you're still so young," he says, turning back to the cowering victim before him, "just because you say these men don't have to be killed, doesn't mean they get to live either," he cackles softly, "so everything you say can't be the right thing to do. Or perhaps you just have a soft side in you..." he glances back at the red-eyed silhouette before he grips Samehada tighter, and gives a snide smile, "if that's the case, I'm sorry to say I don't share the same sentiments, Itachi- _san._ "

Shark-skin comes to life in his hands, ripping the flesh over the little victim's neck like paper. The man falls on his knees with a dull thump, absolute horror sketched across his features and blood gushing out like a river from his neck. Kisame gazes with a satisfied grin as the body falls on its face. But subsequently, it starts melting into a pool of blackness and deformed shapes of crows start flying out of it. Kisame's grin disappears, "What is this?"

The mist-shadow crows suddenly disperse and then reform in the exact spot the victim had been seconds ago. The whole environment seems to be shifted and rearranged now:

Kisame can see concrete beneath his feet, but it feels like he's stepping on quicksand. The room they're in suddenly feels small and claustrophobic, but it hasn't changed its large towering appearance at all. The stimuli his vision and his body give don't match up and it distorts his mind. His breathing becomes shallow and quick, the confinement gripping at his chest. Sweat drips down the side of his head as he sees the man slowly reform before him like a black grotesque ghost. Kisame slashes through the body with Samehada but the same thing happens, with the crows and the blackness reforming again.

' _Genjutsu. It can't be... when did he..?'_

"...Pointless to have him alive is it?" the reformed man before him speaks in Itachi's calm voice. His dark eyes bleed into Sharingan, "... how about you try to kill him now, Kisame?"

And Kisame can't move. To any onlooker, it still looks like he's cornering the little man in front of him against the wall, but  _Kisame can't move_. His muscles are petrified and his arms feel heavy. His whole body feels disconnected. His heart beats rapidly in his chest with helplessness. He stares at Itachi's sharingan eyes and Kisame cannot escape its hold.

The Uchiha's slim body takes form before him and the victim's face morphs into that of Itachi's, with red sharingan gazing at Kisame's eyes under long eyelashes.

Kisame is overwhelmed with the roar of adrenaline inside him.

"It's not difficult to follow simple directions, that is all I asked you to do," Itachi's voice resonates, "you doubted me because of my age, but you should know that appearances and age have nothing to do with a shinobi's capabilities. A shinobi is simply just shinobi, and all other labels are superfluous and misleading."

Kisame's heart has never beaten this fast. Something about that red gaze, that resonating voice... it sends chills up and down his body.

"Keeping that in mind, I have not considered you inferior or superior to myself," Itachi says, "I was simply giving you guidance, not orders."

His body completely numb by that point, Kisame is shocked when he feels the cold touch of a kunai knife at his throat, and  _Itachi hasn't even moved_ , and he's still gazing calmly at Kisame like nothing has happened. It's not visible, but it's unmistakable; Kisame can feel the pressure of the sharp blade on his neck, making a dent on his blue skin. And then he feels something warm against his ear, like a hot breath. It contrasts with the cold metal on his skin and Kisame shudders.

"It's not a question of what is right or wrong, but simply a matter of duty," Itachi speaks, his breath brushing against Kisame's ear, "the Akatsuki is an underground organization and we do not attract attention to ourselves with unnecessary killing," his voice is sharp, like a hot blade. "If you are to stay in this organization, you are to do as I instruct you to, is that understood?"

"Yes," Kisame's voice croaks.

The invisible kunai presses down and draws a sliver of blood from his neck in response.

"Yes, Itachi-san."

And all of a sudden, Kisame can breathe again. He feels solid ground beneath his feet. He feels the heat of the burning rubble on his right, and the cold of the night air coming from the window on his left, and it chills the sheen of sweat over his skin. Kisame keeps a shaky hand on the wall, steadying himself.

He notices that the man he had cornered before him is gone and he turns around to see Itachi kneeling in front of that same man. The Uchiha's slim fingers tilt the man's head up and he gazes straight into the eyes of the victim, who immediately starts spouting out mumbled information in a daze. Itachi then releases him.

"We are done here," he says quietly, "let's leave." Saying this, the Uchiha walks towards the exit. He doesn't look at Kisame and doesn't even act like he'd put the swordsman under a genjutsu at all.

_As if nothing had happened._

And Kisame is left dumbstruck. He only chuckles later as he finally comes to see that when Itachi is frugal when it comes to using words, he makes his intentions all the more clear with actions alone. In one moment he'd made Kisame feel completely helpless and had shown him who clearly had the superior abilities, and what's more, he'd done all this by taking the form of their victim.

_'How utterly ruthless...'_

And the way he'd acted after he'd lifted the genjutsu - he had completely ignored Kisame, finishing their mission without a blink of an eye.

_As if Kisame wasn't even needed._

So the swordsman bites down on his lower lip with frustration, easily drawing out blood with his sharp teeth. But he's grinning madly because he's learnt something else too: going head to head with Itachi is absolutely thrilling. His blood is still drenched with adrenaline and Kisame chuckles again as a cool shiver courses up his body.

_'This is going to be interesting...'_


	2. Chapter 2

_His laughter is throaty and deep. It issues from his broad chest and his curls fall over his eyes as he shakes his head with amusement._

_His laughter is always so warm._

_"What is so funny?" Itachi asks confusedly._

_He's sure there's nothing funny with him pinning Shisui against a tree at sword point. They've been practicing their kenjutsu that day._

_"Nothing, sorry," the older of the two replies, giving Itachi a thoughtful look, "I guess you win today." His eyes are still filled with laughter. Itachi removes his sword from Shisui's throat and backs away from him, confusion still wrought across his sharingan._

_"You're getting better at this," Shisui compliments, "I might run out of things to teach you, Itachi, if you're beating me all the time like that."_

_Itachi raises his eyebrows slightly with mild surprise, and even as he does this, he can't stop his heart from soaring. Itachi isn't someone who's unaccustomed to praise. People seem to throw them at him from every which way._

_But he's never felt as good with those praises as he does with Shisui's._

_Maybe it's because he knows Shisui never lies to him. Maybe it's because he doesn't have the same perceptive skills as Shisui does, Shisui, who seems to see through him all the time, and so he looks up to t_ _he older_ _more than he does to anyone else._

_"I'm no match for you, Shisui."_

_The_ _older_   _Uchiha smiles lopsidedly. He loves how Itachi looks up to him as much as the other loves his praises._

_"Well, let's go back," Shisui says, "I need a bath."_

_"You still have not told me."_

_Shisui looks at him curiously, "Haven't told you what?"_

_"Why you were laughing earlier," Itachi speaks, "I didn't see any situation that would initiate such a reaction from you-"_

_Shisui laughs again. Itachi stares._

_"Okay, I'll tell you," the older Uchiha consents, "I had a dream last night, you were in it-"_

_Itachi raises an eyebrow._

_"And we were in a similar 'situation' in that dream."_

_"You're saying that I won in your dream too?"_

_"Nah, it was the opposite," Shisui grinned, "that's why I found the earlier 'situation' ironic."_

_"Oh."_

_Shisui walks towards Itachi slowly, with a sly smile on his face, "In fact, we were in this field."_

_Itachi smiles slightly, "Your dreams are hardly that accurate, Shisui."_

_"You're saying I made it up?!"_

_"Perhaps."_

_Shisui eyes the other Uchiha deviously, and suddenly, he's disappeared, shunshinned away. Itachi doesn't have time to react because he's crashed to the grass with Shisui above him, pinning his wrists down with his hands. His grip is strong so he can't break free - Shisui has always had the upper hand in strenght - not that Itachi has much leverage now anyway._

_"Shi_ _s-"_

_"This, however, is exactly how I saw it," Shisui breathes against his cheek. Itachi realizes his body is completely caged, pressed entirely against Shisui's. He can smell Shisui's faint citrus scent. His curls falling over Itachi's forehead feel ticklish._

_"Know what else I saw?" the older Uchiha questions, prompting the other by nuzzling at his neck. Itachi shudders beneath him. "Wh-what?"_

_Shisui smirks, "This," he whispers._

_Soft lips press against Itachi's neck, making his breathing hitch._

_"And this."_

_A wet tongue licks roughly against Itachi's sensitive skin, eliciting a soft moan from his lips, like a whisper._

_"Accurate," Shisui breathes, pressing another kiss, "down to the last moan," licking just below Itachi's earlobe._

_And Itachi moans._

_His eyes close shut, sharingan deactivated._

_"Shisui..."_


	3. Chapter 3

It had started because of Itachi's shoulder blade.

But that isn't necessarily accurate, Kisame knows it was much, much earlier than that. Truthfully, it had started because he found out Itachi liked relaxing.

Itachi isn't someone who makes small talk. He's not a normal person at all, so he doesn't smile when he hears a good joke, he doesn't retort when being insulted and he never raises his voice. Itachi just exists in stolidity and coldness. That is all.

But there are times, usually when they don't have a mission and they stop for rest in a remote place as they're traveling - often in the middle of a wheat field, near the roar of a hidden waterfall or the edge of a river-hugged ridge - that Itachi's slim shoulders under the thick Akatsuki coat loosen. His facial expressions become relaxed - not calm and cold -  _relaxed_ , loose, and he closes his eyes and looks up at the sky. And he looks like he's praying.

It's in these moments that Kisame can afford to observe his mysterious partner more.

And it's in one of these moments that he notices Itachi's neck.

It's long and slender, like most of his physique, coursed vertically by rivers of shallow veins. Strong neck muscles cord alongside the delicate dip between his prominent collar bones. His chain necklace adorned with the three metal rings rest against those collar bones, casting reflected light against the pale skin. His skin is stretched tight and soft over the length of his neck and it buckles whenever he swallows.

This initiates Kisame to observe Itachi's other physical attributes more often when he'd always chosen to ignore them, simply because Itachi is too embarrassingly small compared to his own towering stature. But after that point, Kisame starts to pay more attention.

And he notices many things.

Itachi looks very much like his personality. His features are delicate, almost feminine, but obviously masculine with his strong jaw and neck, and his deep voice. His voice isn't loud, and so aren't his lips, his hands or his eyes.

And Kisame also sees his body for the first time.  _Sees._

It's true that they aren't strangers to each other's nudity – they've been to several bath houses before – but it's in that dimly candle-lit inn room when they're removing their wet clothes because they've been walking in perpetual rain for the past hour, that Kisame first  _sees_  Itachi bare. He finally acknowledges that Itachi is not skinny after all, but filled out pretty well.

This is when the Uchiha's shoulder blade catches Kisame's eye.

It protrudes from his back when he's twisting his arm to get his shirt off. The candle light glows bright over that small plateau of bone, muscle and skin, and the light disappears altogether when the shoulder blade flattens against his back when he moves his arm.

Kisame's eyes trail down Itachi's back now.

Strong well-trained muscles flex with each movement, licked by the candle light now and then as he moves. His long wet hair is a black waterfall down his upper back, sticking to his shoulders and neck in dark tangles. A soft wind flickers the light, and it dances over Itachi's ANBU tattoo that's painted on the cleft between his bicep and tricep.

Itachi's small compared to Kisame, but he's got the body of a dancer and the muscles of a panther and Kisame knows by fact that his movements and lethality are that of both.

Itachi tucks his wet hair behind his ear now giving Kisame a clear side view of his elegant face. A drop of rainwater courses down the length of his sharp jaw and hangs precariously under his chin.

Kisame licks his lips.

And it's later when they settle down to sleep, under darkness and silence, that Kisame can still see Itachi under the candlelight when he closes his eyes, and he realizes, a little uncomfortably, that his life is getting more complicated than it already is.


	4. Chapter 4

_Itachi is blind to the breathtaking view before him. He can see the rolling hills from the cliff where he stands and he can see the sun dipping under their folds for the day, but he isn't really 'seeing' them. His mind is leaking with too many thoughts and is pulling all his senses away._

_Then someone suddenly tugs at his long ponytail. There's only one person who does that._

_"Ngh, Shisui," Itachi says with slight rebuke._

_"Don't 'Shisui' me," the other retorts, coming to stand beside Itachi on the edge of that cliff. "What's so important that you had to ignore me the whole day? And you didn't even hear me when I was practically drumming against that tree behind you." One of his eyebrows is quirked up, and sunlight drenches his face and his curls._

_"Nothing. I was just..."_

_Shisui waits as he peers at Itachi expectantly. The younger of the two simply looks down at his feet, the way he always does when he's troubled. Shisui sighs._

_"I thought I told you, you don't need to worry, Itachi," Shisui keeps a hand in his pocket, his long lashes casting shadows over his eyes as he gazes over at the distance, "just leave everything to me."_

_"Shisui, tell me what you have in mind... to stop all this," Itachi looks at the other with a slight frown, "and how are you going to-"_

_He stops when he sees Shisui smirk, "I am serious."_

_"So am I," Shisui says, "you worry too much, Itachi."_

_"For good reason."_

_"Well, it looks terrible on you."_

_It's Itachi's turn to quirk an eyebrow now, "I am quite sure that that is the least of my concerns, Shisui."_

_The other chuckles amusedly, "You're too uptight."_

_"You seem to be in the mood to vex me today."_

_Shisui laughs now, "Look at you, all pouty," he says, his eyes shining as he gazes at Itachi, "so cute, 'Tachi."_

_Itachi gives a long-suffering sigh, "Shisui..."_

_The older Uchiha just grins as he plops down on the grass and he squints up at Itachi, patting the spot next to him, prompting him to sit down. Itachi doesn't comply. Shisui rolls his eyes and grabs Itachi's arm, forcing him down._

_"You, my friend," Shisui begins, pointing a stern finger at Itachi, "need to chill."_

_Itachi opens his mouth to protest but doesn't get a chance to._

_"It's times like these that distractions come in handy," Shisui says, winking._

_That effectively shuts Itachi up. He blinks confusedly. Surely, Shisui couldn't be suggesting... anything sexual..._

_"How 'bout I sing for you? Pick a song."_

_Itachi relaxes and immediately forces himself to try and calm the heat that has flooded his cheeks due to his previous 'inappropriate' thoughts._

_"How is that going to distract me?" Itachi asks, "I might just say, you are not a very good-"_

_"Tch, liar."_

_And that is very true. Shisui is a good singer. His voice takes a soft baritone quality when he sings and it flows out of his lips like a river with rough currents. It's enough to make Itachi's heart flutter. It's enough to make him melt from the inside out._

_Itachi likes being in control. He doesn't like melting._

_Shisui knows this. That's why he's smiling deviously._

_And he starts singing Itachi's favorite song, finally making the younger Uchiha notice the breathtaking view in front of him, the gentle breeze carrying the scent of summer and the light bathing Shisui's face and body lovingly._

_He avoids smiling because he knows Shisui would not stop teasing him for enjoying this. He stays silent, trying not to keep his eyes only on Shisui as the other sings the song, sewing the words together with his deep, rough voice, holding Itachi under the folds and turns of his song._

_And Itachi wonders how Shisui does it: how he's able to sneak under his skin and stay there all warm and snug when Itachi's always keeping barriers against this; wonders just when he'd made a place in Itachi's shielded heart and how._ _Shisui, with his easy lopsided smiles, those unruly_   _windblown_ _curls and that warm lilting laughter. Shisui with those dark smoky eyes, that can see into Itachi, peel him apart bit by bit and expose him bare and can see his complete truth..._

_Shisui closes his eyes, his lips working into and around the song. He's leaned back, his weight supported on his hands and his face flush against the light of the setting sun. A gentle smile tugs at his lips and he simply just gives his voice and song to Itachi, just Itachi._

_And Itachi thinks, that for the first time, maybe he doesn't need an answer to the 'whys' and the 'hows'._

_So he leans in and presses his lips to the corner of Shisui's. The other stops singing, giving a short cough of surprise. Then his lips stretch out into a full smile._

_Itachi cups his cheek in one hand and kisses Shisui's jaw line. The older hums appreciatively in response._

_"Please, do continue," Itachi whispers._

_And he sprinkles kisses_ _all_ _over Shisui's skin. He pampers Shisui with his kisses, his licks and his soft, teasing nips; he makes love to his skin._

_And Shisui sings the whole time._


	5. Chapter 5

Kisame is in pain.

The night is excruciatingly silent, but thankfully it's pitch dark. He can hear his partner breathing soundly from the other bed, sleeping.

Everything else is too quiet. Kisame thinks it's the worst time to be sporting a painful erection. He's not really sure how it had started, he just remembered he was sleepless and he was listening to Itachi's calm breathing. That was it.

He needs to jerk himself off if he wants to sleep, but he knows he won't be able to keep quiet while he's at it. So he grunts, throws his blanket off and gets up from his futon. He stalks to the bathroom as quietly as possible.

Inside the safety of the bathroom, he tugs his pants down and touches himself. He groans softly. 

This is happening to him more often these days. It can be because of the loss of sexual contact for the past year; Kisame is no virgin and he's slept with many – women,  _men_. His sexual preferences vary with his mood, and he hasn't had sex for a long time now, so he convinces himself it's because of that.

Of course, it's not because of...

Images of a slim waist adorned with lithe muscles come to mind, of long dark hair and red piercing eyes.

Kisame grunts as he speeds his pace.

Then the bathroom door slides open and the light is switched on.

Kisame freezes in place.

He watches wide-eyed at Itachi, who's standing at the doorway with the same stony expression on his face as always. His hair is loose and falling over his shoulders. Itachi glances at where Kisame's hand is and he meets his eyes again, not looking surprised at all.

Kisame smirks, trying to hide his surprise and embarrassment, "Didn't ever except you would show up in a situation like this." However, he doesn't make a move to cover himself up.

Then for the next few breaths Kisame is rendered speechless, because Itachi steps in, closes the door behind him and walks towards Kisame calmly.

Kisame stares at the other man who's now standing before the swordsman with the same unreadable expression on his face. He almost chokes when Itachi's hand suddenly grips at his cock.

"Wh-What are you doing?" he breathes.

Itachi's thumb rubs languidly over the tip, sending flaming shafts of pleasure across Kisame's body. He groans.

"A redundant question," Itachi says, as he starts moving his hand, his eyes half-lidded as he stares directly at Kisame, still very calmly.

Kisame's breathing is impressively ragged now. "Wh-why??"

Itachi raises one slim eyebrow, "Why not?" he questions back, "did you think I have not noticed your growing attraction towards me?" Kisame grunts when Itachi squeezes. He stares at him breathlessly as the Uchiha drops on his knees, and that sight is enough to make heat pool at the base of his stomach. Arousal heats the insides of his body like fire.

"Eyes on mine," Itachi orders, his irises flooding red with sharingan and Kisame relents.

Itachi kisses his tip with his pink lips, teasing it and sucking it experimentally. Kisame's breath catches and he's fighting to stand upright. Itachi's fixing his melting red sharingan on Kisame's eyes as he opens his mouth to take his length in. The wet heat of that mouth around his cock feels too overwhelming and Kisame groans, digging his hands into Itachi's long hair, egging him on.

The Uchiha flicks his tongue, licking at the base and making a slick trail upwards. He brushes the protruding vein on Kisame and a broken moan sounds from his lips.

"Ita- Itachi-san... ah-" His head falls back against the wall with a thump and he closes his eyes with ecstasy.

But all too suddenly, the warmth of Itachi's mouth retreats and is followed by a sharp pinch to the base of his shaft.

Kisame gives out a whimper of protest.

"I said eyes on mine, Kisame," Itachi repeats, his voice deeper and more hoarse.

Kisame looks down, and fixes his eyes on those alluring ones again. Itachi teases the base of his head and then takes his length inside slowly. He retreats again and he does the same thing over and over, each time taking more of the length inside, bobbing his head rhythmically.

Kisame is rapt by this sight and soon the bathroom is filled with his lewd moans, and with slick, wet sounds.

He grips into Itachi's head with one hand and keeps his other pressed against the wall for support. Very soon, his legs are quaking and pleasure shoots up and down his body. He then notices Itachi releasing his own erection from his pants and humming with content when he fingers it.

Kisame is reduced to a broken mess of pants and gasps as Itachi works on his shaft. The Uchiha is apparently an expert at it and his tongue is utterly sinful. Kisame jerks his hips up slightly to match with his movements, and he hasn't looked away from Itachi at all who meets his eyes with his sharingan.

Soon, Itachi does something with his tongue and he closes his eyes and sucks hard until his cheeks hollow.

Kisame comes with a loud broken moan, falling from his high after he sees flashes of light. Then his knees give way and he drops uselessly to the floor, his skin slick with sweat and his breath coming out in heaves.

Itachi wipes cum dripping from his lips with the back of his hand. His mouth is wet and his skin is beaded with sweat. His lust-hazed sharingan are overcast with heavy eyelids. It's the first time Kisame's seen Itachi like this which stimulates the dormant heat inside him again. He wants to grab that slim face and devour those pink lips.

Then, without so much of a second glance, Itachi gets up slowly and walks out of the bathroom, shutting the door as he leaves.

Kisame stares after him with a lustful gaze then he chuckles weakly, resting his head against the wall.

Kisame is no virgin and he's slept with too many people to prove that point. But that was definitely the best blow job he's ever received in his lifetime. And he wants so much more... more from Itachi...  _Itachi-san._

After he cleans up, he goes back to their room and he's surprised to find Itachi missing. He recalls with a little disappointment that Itachi hadn't managed to come. So Kisame thinks he's probably out to finish it.

He cackles as he settles on his futon. Kisame would have been more than happy to finish the job for him, but he waits.

Later, Itachi does arrive, and his face is sweaty, but as calm and collected as usual. He doesn't look at Kisame, as if nothing had happened between them at all.

This is one behavior of his that really annoys Kisame.

"You left without sharing a last kiss, Itachi-san," he teases, "that wasn't very nice."

Itachi doesn't reply as he arranges his blanket.

"So how about a kiss now? Hmm?" Kisame grins.

Itachi turns now, and fixes Kisame with an observant look. After a while, he says, "This does not change anything between us, Kisame," his voice is toneless, "I cannot give you more than this - sex - and likewise, you should not expect anything more. Do you understand?"

Kisame snorts. Did Itachi really think  _he_  was going to fall in love?

"Why would I want anything more?" he says, "you should know I'm not the romantic type." He laughs then, because saying it aloud sounds so absurd.

Itachi observes him for a while, and says, "So I trust that you will keep it that way," he says, now settling on his futon, "that this is just a release for both of us, nothing more."

Kisame chuckles darkly, "Let me ask you this," he begins, "are  _you_  attracted to me, Itachi-san?"

Itachi doesn't reply.

Kisame grins and lies down.

He doesn't say it out loud, but he  _really had_  wanted that last kiss.


	6. Chapter 6

_"Shisui-san?"_

_Itachi is eight at that time. He's holding a basket twice his size, squinting up against the sunlight and trying to find Shisui inside the leafy foliage of the apple tree._

_"Huh?" comes the reply from somewhere inside the tangle of branches._

_Shisui is ten at that time. He's all lanky muscles and bones and as adept at climbing trees as a monkey is._

_The younger Uchiha pauses, shifting the stiff basket uncomfortably in his arms._

_"Shi...Shisui-san?"_

_A small grunt comes from the tree, and the older Uchiha finally appears, dangling from his hands on one of the branches until he finally lets go. He lands on his feet and steadies himself._

_"What is it, Itachi?" he asks, wiping a drop of sweat from his temple, "this better be good. I found a whole cluster of red ones, now I have to search for them again."_

_"I... I apologize..."_

_Shisui laughs, eyes squinting and turning bright, "Well, are you going to tell me why you called me down, or not?"_

_Itachi shifts the basket in his hands, rolling the few apples inside it absently. "How..?" he begins, "how does one know when they are close to someone?"_

_Shisui tilts his head to the side, with a confused smile on his face as if he's thinking: what kinda question is that? He scratches his curly hair. "Eh... I don't know, when they spend more time together I guess."_

_Itachi looks at the older with curious eyes. "I see..." he says slowly, as if gauging Shisui's words, "and... how does one express this closeness to the other?"_

_Shisui laughs again, "Damn, Itachi, the things you ask sometimes."_  
  
_Itachi blinks expectantly._

_"Well, isn't it obvious? They do intimate things, like hugging, and getting each other gifts and kissing and stuff," Shisui scratches his head again, and gives a thoughtful look, "yeah, that's probably it."_

_"I see."_

_"So, you're done with the weird questions?"_

_"Yes."_

_Shisui's giving a fond smile. He doesn't ask why Itachi asks something like that - he's used to the other's quaint questions. So he grins_   _a_ _musedly and_ _keeps a hand on the tree trunk to climb again. But he's suddenly pulled down by a tight and a surprisingly strong grip by one small fist on his shirt, and a set of soft lips are clumsily pressed against his._

_Shisui's eyes are blown wide and his heart starts running a marathon. He realizes Itachi took what he said about that kissing thing quite seriously._

_The stiff basket between them makes it awkward but when Itachi finally drops the hindrance, it becomes less difficult. Yet, it's still awkward, because they have no idea what the hell they're doing._

_But Itachi's heart is on a marathon too._

_And the apples roll off, forgotten._


	7. Chapter 7

The air is hot with lust.

Kisame lays over the futon and looks up at his partner lustfully. Arousal gathers at his groin when Itachi kneels, his knees on either side of Kisame's head and with his erection right above his face. He's breathing heavily as he looks down at Kisame, with his dark hair curtaining his face. He then closes his eye lids over his sharingan, making his head fall back when he grips his own cock. Kisame moans at that sight.

He can see Itachi's hair falling like a waterfall from his leaned-back head, and cascading over his pale shoulders. Kisame can see his neck stretched, that neck he's come to admire so much, the pale skin buckling and stretching as Itachi swallows and breathes heavily as he pumps at his erection. Kisame groans, seeing him like this, the sight arousing him more than anything. He grips his own shaft and starts moving his hand over it fast.

Then Itachi finally looks down, fixing Kisame with his red eyes. He spreads his legs, sliding his knees apart from either side of Kisame's head so that he's lowering himself. Then he guides his cock, already slick with pre-cum, down towards Kisame's mouth, who takes it in eagerly.

Itachi shudders above him, bending his back so that his head hovers over Kisame's. He shuts his eyes with the overwhelming feeling of his partner's hot mouth around his shaft. He then slowly lowers himself further and Kisame takes in more of his length without complaint. He ignores his reflex to gag and flicks his tongue along the length, his own hand working at his own shaft furiously.

And Kisame sucks hard.

Itachi moans against tightly sealed lips.

From his position, Kisame can see Itachi's every facial expression as the other fucks his mouth. He can see Itachi's brows creasing with pleasure, his eyes shut tight and his skin slick with sweat. He can see his mouth falling slack every time he thrusts inside Kisame's mouth, and can hear him gasp and pant as he moves, his slim hands gripping the sheets tightly on either side of Kisame's face.

He looks so different from his usual stoic self - completely exposed, vulnerable - and Kisame feels lucky to get to see this side of Itachi. This is the most erotic thing Kisame's ever seen, and it's enough to take him closer and closer to the edge.

Itachi now gives a soft, but heady moan as he moves into Kisame's mouth. His pink lips part and his brows crease further as he feels his orgasm coming.

"Shi- Ngh," he then gasps, " _Shisui_ ," he says in a whisper.

And he comes hot into Kisame's mouth, with his whole body shuddering in waves.

That name.  _Shisui_

Kisame's heard it from Itachi's lips before, in the same lewd way. The first time he'd heard it had him entirely confused. However, he  _did_  recognize that name. He recalled that it was always followed with a title: Shunshin no Shisui, Shisui of the Body Flicker. That name was infamous among shinobi with god-like speed. Kisame also knew that he was an Uchiha.

He'd heard Shisui Uchiha had suddenly disappeared years ago, that he'd died.

But why would Itachi take his name like that..? Were they... lovers? At first, Kisame had to press down his feelings of jealousy and bitterness with great effort.

_Jealousy..._

But it's different now, of course, hearing that name doesn't affect him at all. Even though Itachi takes Shisui's name instead of his, he knows Itachi belongs to _him_ now. He is now in  _Kisame's_ arms, and that's what matters most. Shunshin no Shisui is dead, and he didn't matter anymore.

That's what Kisame tells himself every time.

The feel of Itachi's warm cum inside his mouth clutches at Kisame with pleasure, taking him over the edge. He then breathes heavily through his nose.

Itachi breathes slowly now as he bends, still knelt above Kisame with his elbows supporting his weight. He pulls out of his mouth and presses his forehead against Kisame's, closing his eyes and taking the exhaustion in. His face is relaxed and sweaty and his whole body heaves as he catches up to his breath. Long eyelashes rest against his pale cheeks and his hair makes a dark curtain around their faces.

He looks so beautiful.

Kisame draws lazy circles on Itachi's cheek, then pulls him in gently for a kiss.

_'Mine.'_

But Itachi turns his head away at the last minute, avoiding his lips. He straightens, breaking the curtain around their faces and taking his warmth away. His face is back to its stoic mask and his eyes are cold, obsidian blacks again. He pulls his body away and gets up.

"Itachi-san-"

But Itachi's already walking away.

Something falls inside Kisame and it shatters into a thousand pieces.


	8. Chapter 8

It's a theory:

"You still love him, don't you?"

It's been a few days since the last time they had sex and Itachi's turned it down that night too.

After he'd refused, Kisame had asked him that.

The Uchiha gives no sudden response. If Itachi's even mildly shocked to be asked such a question, he doesn't show it at all. Kisame blinks - he was sure it would've thrown the Uchiha off-guard, even a little - but Itachi simply continues mixing several medicines from glass vials into a porcelain bowl. He's been getting sicker by the day, which could partly be why he's refusing sex.

But Kisame knows that's not the only reason.

After some tinkling with glass against porcelain, Itachi asks, "Whom do you mean?" His voice is emotionless.

"You know exactly who," Kisame replies. He sounds more indignant than he means to let out, "this... Shisui..."

More tinkling with the glass, still no change in expression.

"Who is he?" Kisame asks.

The sound of a metal spoon mixing liquid in the porcelain bowl resounds.

"A friend."

Kisame sits on a chair, facing Itachi. "Hm," he smirks, keeping up his usual snarky mask.

 _Yes,_ he admits _, a mask._

"And you still love him," he wonders, giving Itachi an amused grin.

Itachi puts the spoon on the wooden table. He cups the bowl in his hands and drinks the medicine. He puts it down on the table and wipes his lips with the back of his hand. His expression is still empty. So are his eyes.

"Shisui is dead."

It's a cold heavy fact, dropped like a boulder, finishing the conversation with a dead end. It sounds like Itachi's telling himself that rather than answering Kisame.

The swordsman doesn't even notice Itachi placing his equipment back in place and getting up to go to bed because Kisame's too shocked - Itachi's always economical when it comes to words, he never overexpends them, but he always makes sure everything he says makes sense. So him saying that last sentence is very odd. It wasn't even an answer to the question.

It's not like him at all.

Which shows how right Kisame is about his theory, and it feels like something inside him rips apart.

He looks down and sees that the coat fabric inside his clenched fist is ripped too.


	9. Chapter 9

_The edges of Itachi's vision are hazy and whole images look pale and discolored, like he's looking at them through translucent lantern paper._

_He is dreaming after all._

_It's one of those recurring ones, showing him visions of the past, like it's trying to mock him, over and over._

_It opens into a scene of war, with a chubby, grimy hand clamping tightly over his lips from behind, effectively silencing him. The owner of that hand is a six-year-old Shisui Uchiha, who's biting his own lower lip to quiet himself. Their skinny backs are pressed against a cold wall, with some foreign shinobi on the other side._

_Shisui's bony arm that's wound round Itachi's head wedges against his ear. It hurts. But even though he's just four, Itachi has the tolerance to stay quiet. He knows it's important._

_And then the scene shifts to a half-lit forest canopy, with the grassy floor dappled with sunlight and shade. Birdsong fills the air. Two boys are sitting on a fallen tree. It's carpeted with soft moss and mushrooms, some grass and some wildflowers. It's nice._

_"Thank you, Shisui-san," the younger one with long straight hair says in a quiet voice, "I would not be alive now if you hadn't come to my aid."_

_The other, the taller one with the curly hair smiles genially, "You don't have to thank me for something like that, Itachi," he says lightly, "I'd never let you die, you know." Then he pauses as he looks at the little Uchiha beside him and gives a cheerful smile, "That's a promise."_

_He says it breezily, like he's stating the weather._

_But Itachi knows Shisui always keeps his promises._

_"Now come on," Shisui says, getting up, "I'll race you to Kasumi Shrine."_

_"That's thirty three miles away."_

_"Yeah, what's your point?"_

_"... It's too far, is it not?"_

_"Konoha's three miles away. It's only eleven times more."_

_"But it's on top of a hill which is full of steep ridges. Father told me-"_

_"Ah, loosen up, 'Tachi. I thought I told you I'd take care of you."_

_"You told me you would never let me die."_

_"Same thing."_

_"And if I get injured?"_

_"..."_

_Five minutes later, they do the race anyway._

_Shisui never listens to him, after all._

_And it gets all fast and confusing after that, with fleeting light and dark scenes. One moment Shisui's pulling him up from falling to his death and pressing a soothing kiss to his temple that makes him see flashes of warm light, and another moment Itachi's running after him towards a cliff that opens up to the sky; Shisui runs straight for the clouds._

_Itachi's eyes widen with alarm and he reaches out his hand, "SHI_ _S_ _-"_

_Night, a sky punctured by stars and scarred by a crescent moon._

_Itachi stands on the edge of that ridge overlooking Nakano. He's fifteen, he's alone, and he's shaking. He's not seeing Shisui anymore._

_Because Shisui has always kept his promises._

_And he's hardly ever listened to Itachi._

_Itachi falls to his knees. Itachi bends double. Itachi screams._

_And he wakes up from that dream like he always has, in cold sweat and with his throat scraped raw. Sometimes, he just stares blankly into the darkness because his current life seems too different from his old one, and it feels unreal. It feels too cold so it numbs him. It makes him forget Shisui._

_Only a little._

_Other times, hot tears follow._

_And he can't forget anything._


	10. Chapter 10

The prospect of death is exciting to Kisame for a number of reasons.

One, is because he wants to know himself.

Kisame's a more confused person than he lets on. He knows he can trust no one, or in fact, nothing, because he doesn't know what the Truth is. This world is rotten, because what seems right is labelled wrong and what seems wrong is labelled right.

Killing his comrades... had it been the right thing to do? It had, at that time, it had, even though it'd felt utterly wrong. In the end, whatever he did became all for naught, what good did it do...?

_So what is the right thing?_

_Who is he to judge?_

The Truth is all but non-existent.

"You don't even know who you are. You're just a thug who got lost in the Mist and ended up here... am I wrong?"

It's one of the most chilling things Kisame has ever heard because it's accurate down to the last word, and the man hadn't even taken one look at Kisame when he'd said that.

"We are humans, not fish. We do not know who we truly are until the very end. When Death comes to embrace you, you will realize what you are..."

What was the point of fretting about the right or the wrong then, if we don't really know who we are? If the arrival of death is what would determine Kisame's true identity, then he would await it eagerly.

Another reason, is because it's  _so thrilling_.

When you're close to death, all senses go to overdrive, and your blood rushes in a torrent inside your body. You live in the  _absolute present_ , and it's the most overwhelming feeling in the world.

Kisame grins every time he sees the fleeting face of Death that frequents him a lot in his time as an Akatsuki member. He can't help it, it breaks his lips apart into a grin and he finds it unbelievably exciting.

The last reason is because he wants to know...

... If he'll be remembered.

He doesn't have anyone in his life and if he forces himself to think of anyone significant, only one person comes to mind.

_'What do you think of me, Itachi-san?'_

He kisses Kisame hungrily, darting his tongue inside his mouth, gripping his short spiky hair between his long fingers.

_'You're the one who told me that we weren't worthless, despite of the things we did...'_

He presses his firm slim body flush against Kisame's, rolling his hips and giving out a soft moan when Kisame licks at his neck.

_'What do you really think of me...?'_

Kisame lays him on the futon and hovers over him. They press against each other again, with hot sloppy kisses, lewd broken moans.

Kisame knows it's a preposterous thought, to want to know if he'd be remembered or not. He'd be dead after all, there would be no way of knowing.

But still...

_'If I die, would you mourn for me, Itachi-san...?'_

It's one of those questions Kisame would die to have answered. It's ironic.

Later, when both of them are heavy with post-coital relief, Kisame pulls him closer and kisses him sleepily.

Itachi doesn't kiss back.


	11. Chapter 11

_Itachi thinks Shisui's asked it a thousand times now._

_"Are you sure?? Because if you're-"_

_"Yes, Shisui," Itachi breathes against the other's lips, "yes."_

_They kiss each other again, bodies pressed together entirely. Itachi's body is hot and so is Shisui's._

_But the heat isn't enough._

_They stumble towards Shisui's bedroom blindly, not willing to let go of the other. Itachi still grips at him possessively when he falls against the futon, seizing Shisui lips again and kissing him fully, cracking his lips open to let their tongues dive into each other's mouths. His breathing fumbles when he feels Shisui pressing his hips against his groin. The elder's erection makes a searing heat pool at the base of his stomach._

_Shisui leaves his lips and trails kisses down his jaw and makes his way to Itachi's neck. Itachi leans his head back, closing his eyes and allowing more access to the other as he bites his lips to quieten the embarrassing sounds coming from his lips. It doesn't work, however, when Shisui bites softly at his skin and sucks at it, licking and soothing the bite mark._

_Itachi gives out a low moan and tangles his long fingers into Shisui's curls, tugging at them to urge him on. And his breath catches again when Shisui's hand slips inside his shirt._

_It's not enough..._

_Itachi pushes him back a little and Shisui has a confused expression on his face now, but it clears quickly when he sees Itachi removing his shirt. He helps him with it and complies when his own shirt is being tugged off. They're at each other's lips again before they've even discarded their garments and it's as heated as the kiss from before._

_Itachi doesn't even realize when they're completely naked against each other. They're both aroused to the fullest now, their erections pulsing between them. Itachi's full of new exciting sensations. It's his first time and he's not quite sure how to carry out things, but Shisui's with him and he has always guided him._

_The older Uchiha now brushes his fingers against Itachi's pebbled nipple and tugs at it gently between his thumb and forefinger. Itachi arches his back, gasping into Shisui's lips. Shisui thumbs the nipple as he leaves Itachi's lips and subsequently replaces his fingers over the bud with his tongue. Itachi moans and squirms under Shisui as the other nibbles at it teasingly whilst fingering the other one attentively. His hand soon trails roughly down Itachi's chest and his muscles and then grips his bulging shaft._

_"Ah- Shisui-"_

_His lips soon follow, mapping a wet hot trail down Itachi's chest and torso, licking and sucking at each place that makes Itachi tremble in is arms._

_Itachi lifts his hips, grinding it up into Shisui's which makes the older groan against Itachi's chest. He seizes Itachi's lips into a searing kiss again and they grind against each other. It feels absolutely amazing. They want this to carry on and on._

_"Itachi," Shisui murmurs against his lips. Itachi opens his eyes._

_"Do you want...?'_

_Itachi understands. He nods._

_"You sure? 'Cause-"_

_"Yes, I am." Itachi says confidently._

_Within a few seconds, Shisui's hand is caressing Itachi's inner thigh near his groin and a slick, lubed finger is pressed gently against Itachi's opening. The feeling is strange but it awakens more exotic senses inside him. Itachi spreads his legs more, bucking his hips towards Shisui's finger._

_Shisui eases in the digit and Itachi's body stiffens._

_Shisui then leans in and presses soothing kisses to his neck and he slides in further, giving him time to adjust, moving his finger and stretching him out slowly. Itachi feels the finger fully inside him and pleasure soon replaces the discomfort. Shisui works his finger in and out and Itachi arches his back more, his leg muscles tightening as he gasps with pleasure._

_Then Shisui puts another finger, and another, stretching him out bit by wonderful bit, making Itachi incoherent with pleasure. He moves against Shisui's fingers eagerly and moans every time the other curls the digits inside him, brushing against the bundle of nerves that reduces Itachi into a heated mess._

_Shisui's very patient with this and very skilled._ _He's taking Itachi closer and closer to the edge with each thrust of his fingers, but he always holds back a few centimeters, lengthening the time of Itachi's pleasure as much as he can, taking him away from the hell of reality and carrying him into the bliss of his loving and keeping him there as long as possible._

_And for that, Itachi's so grateful..._

_Then, he retreats his fingers all too suddenly, completely. Itachi barely has time to protest when he feels Shisui's tip against his opening and his breath catches in his throat._

_"Itachi..." Shisui breathes against his ear. Their sharingan eyes, which are glazed over, meet with pupils dilated wide. Shisui leans in and kisses Itachi long and slow, their tongues melding languidly._

_And he pushes in slowly._

_Itachi moans against his lips._

_His head falls back, his hair darkened with sweat as he closes his eyes, feeling Shisui's size, so big inside of him._

_It feels so good..._

_"Shit-" Shisui grunts on his neck, "so tight-"_

_Shisui fills him up whole and it feels utterly complete. Itachi starts moving now, wanting more friction, making Shisui groan. They move slowly at first and very soon, they want more of it: more skin, more friction, more heat._

_After a while, Shisui pulls himself out almost completely, leaving Itachi breathless with anticipation. Then he thrusts entirely inside, hitting that one perfect spot._

_"Ngh! Shisui!!"_

_And he knows Shisui felt it too. He does the same thing now, hitting that same sweet spot every time he thrusts and Itachi moans lewdly beneath him. Shisui keeps his legs over his shoulders and thrusts more, hitting that spot deeper in this position._

_Itachi is blinded by pleasure. His whole body is overrun with it and it courses through every inch of his being._

_He bucks his hips to match Shisui's movements and the other groans headily when Itachi tightens around him more. They create a rhythm that's absolutely beautiful. Gasps and pants fill the room now. Itachi keeps his lips pressed together, trying to stop the loud moans from coming out. His control weakens, however, every time Shisui pushes in and slams against his sweet spot. It elicits erotic sounds from him. He then feels Shisui's hands trailing fervidly up his arms. They untangle his hands from the unruly curls, and their hands are now pressed together on the sheets, interlocked and gripping._

_Their speed increases now as they get closer and closer to the edge. "Fuck- Itachi-" Shisui bites._

_Itachi cups Shisui's face with his free hand, pulling his head down for a sloppy kiss as they move, and that sensation along with their rhythm feels amazing. And too soon, Itachi feels himself tightening, "Shisui, I-"_

_The other gets it. He speeds up his thrusts to an obscene level and Itachi's head lolls back. His eyes are open wide and his mouth goes slack._ _His eyes roll back and he cries out when he comes, seeing all sorts of colors._

_He breathes heavily when he falls from his high, his muscles spent. He feels Shisui still moving inside him and he looks at him. Shisui's brows are creased with concentration and his eyes are closed shut, with beads of sweat decorating his skin. His curls are a mess and his mouth is slack as he gasps._

_Itachi thinks it's the sexiest thing he's ever seen._

_A handful of seconds later, Shisui comes inside him with his whole body shuddering, a loud groan sounding from his lips. He crashes onto Itachi heavily, both of them spent, both of their bodies slick with sweat and cum. They catch their breaths together, their hearts literally pressed against each other now. Soon, Shisui pulls out of him and rolls to the side, getting his weight off of Itachi._

_Itachi leans in closer and Shisui wraps his arms around his body, pulling him into a warm embrace. They stare at each other with half-lidded, sated eyes. A soft smile tugs at Shisui's lips as he tucks back some long strands of hair away from Itachi's face._

_"I love you, Itachi," he murmurs._

_It sounds like one of his promises._

_Itachi gives him a loving smile. He caresses Shisui's jawline and cups his face gently as he looks on at his lover. Then he presses a languid kiss on Shisui's lips, who smiles against his lips._

_He knows it's Itachi's way of saying the same thing._

_This is where Itachi feels safe. This is where he knows everything is right, even though the world isn't. It's_ _okay_ _, as long as Shisui's with him_ _right_ _now._

_The kiss is sleepy and warm and it's beautiful. It's warmth lingers into the night._

_And it feels like it will last a whole lifetime._

_~_


	12. Chapter 12

The rain has stopped.

Kisame stands before a stone bed, over a dead body. It used to belong to Itachi.

Kisame feels stiff, cold and numb. His body feels dead as well.

Itachi's usual pale-wheatish skin is the color of bone now. His naked body is covered down from his hips. Kisame looks at that bare chest he's seen so often in the dim light deep into the night; it's not heaving up and down anymore.

Itachi's empty eye sockets are covered with a white cloth - his eyes have already been removed for his little brother. Kisame wants to see those long eyelashes again, but he's afraid to remove the cloth.

Even though he's lain out like this - like a hospital test subject - Itachi looks at peace.

 _'In the end,'_ Kisame thinks,  _'were you able to know the kind of man you had become, Itachi-san?'_

His thoughts seem to echo emptily along the walls of the stone chamber. Kisame isn't affected by this... everything feels empty now anyway.

He reaches his hand out but stops just before he touches Itachi's cheek. His fingers shake. Then he finally brushes a finger against Itachi's cold skin. He wants to tell Itachi... he had avoided it, denied it to himself for a long time, but after Itachi's gone, he finally has the courage to say,

"... I wanted it to be me..."

Kisame takes in a deep breath and exhales heavily. Then he bends down and presses a gentle kiss over Itachi's cold, chapped lips.

_That last kiss..._

Of course... Itachi doesn't kiss back.

 


	13. a prayer

And there's still a prayer, always in the middle of a wheat field, near the roar of a hidden waterfall, or the edge of a river-hugged ridge,

And under a soothing rain...

"When night comes, dragging its long face,

dressed in mourning,

Be with me,

My tormentor, my love,

Be near me."

It washes away and disappears into a river.

 

~

 

_fin_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first ShiIta and ItaKisa work, guys. Hope you liked it! Comments and critique are always welcome.  
> ~ S


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